My boss (who I'll call Barry) called a meeting on Tuesday and informed us that he was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer. Now, you have to understand that Barry is fiercely private. Whenever he is going to be out of the office, Barry will send an email that simply says, "I will be out of the office. I will have my laptop and access to voicemail." The rest of us in the group can tell you what each others' schedules are and what our kids are involved in. But not Barry. Super private, understandably I guess. So anyway, Barry tells us that he has cancer. This is a huge shock. Barry is otherwise healthy, doesn't drink or smoke, goes on long walks with his wife. Now, he has cancer.
In the meeting, Barry told us that he would definitely have 6-8 weeks of a combination of chemotherapy and radiation followed by a 6 week rest and recover period. At the end of the rest and recovery period, Barry will have an esophagectomy. Basically, they will remove the portion of his esophagus that is diseased and stretch up a portion of his stomach to "bridge the gap". It's a pretty extensive surgery. Before we left the room, Barry told us that this wasn't a secret and that we could talk about this with others.
I marinated it for a day and sent an email out to my Prayer Partners. Of those Prayer Partners, 2 of them work for the same company I work for. I sent the email and went about my business. Later in the afternoon, a coworker of mine called me and told me that a manager friend of his called him about my email. It had been forwarded to him from someone else within the company and this particular manager thought I divulged too much information. My coworker mentioned to his friend that he and I had a close enough working relationship and that he would let me know.
When he called and told me, i felt about as big as an ant. I never thought that my original email would go viral throughout the company. After all, I'd only sent it to 2 people within the company. My coworker said that perhaps, I should've just left it as: Barry recently found out that he has cancer and would appreciate the prayers.
Immediately, I thought about "damage control". I contemplated going to Barry and 'fessing up and letting him know that I'd sent an email soliciting prayer on his behalf and that I added some details that were probably unnecessary (remember, Barry is extremely private). But then I remembered that at the end of the meeting, he told us that this wasn't a secret and that we could talk about it. Now I'm torn. I've tried to put myself in his shoes but I can't. I'm not a fiercely private person. I'm a pretty open book, for the most part.
So, I turn to you, readers. What are your thoughts?
1 comment:
Cayce,
I'm really sorry to hear about "Barry's" cancer. You had excellent intentions and this is a sticky situation. Technically, I think you didn't do anything wrong since he said you could talk about; however, from the company's standpoint, they're protecting a fellow employee. I had a similar situation happen when I worked at RedVentures. I was told that since emails can be forwarded, they can "look" like gossip since you can't always get a feeling of someone's intentions in an email. Like I said, I believe you had good intentions but unfortunately, I think management and HR can sometimes not think the best in someone. Next time, I'd send the email to your prayer group but don't include your co-workers on the email or if you do, use their private email addresses. You can always relay the message to them in person which should clear you with the big guys. Once again, I'm really sorry to hear about Barry!
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