Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Never have those words spoken to me as much as they did today. Nay, they SCREAMED at me (but not in that oh-no-you’re-in-trouble-way). But today, God reminded me that He is in control and that if I just let Him, He’s going to work things out.
On Thursday, January 6th, my family and I were on the way to dinner. It was about 6:00 and we were traveling north on the highway (I add this directional reference because traffic heading north this time of day is typically light. Folks commuting home from working in the city travel south) and we were in the right lane. All of a sudden, traffic in the right lane came to screeching halt and the left lane of traffic slowed considerably. The SUV in front of me began moving into the left lane and I quickly realized that there was an 18-wheeler stopped in the right lane. Now, I don’t consider myself an aggressive driver but I do want to get where I’m going with few delays so seeing this truck stopped for seemingly no reason irritated me to no end. There were no other cars or flashing lights from a police car to indicate that an accident had occurred. Because I had no choice, I turned my left signal on and moved over one lane. Traffic was creeping. I was able to move up only about 50 feet before I came to a complete stop. There was a man standing in the road yelling, “GO, GO, GO!!!” Nobody was moving anywhere so I had no choice but to sit there. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I was directly beside the parked 18-wheeler and I glared at it, as if I were willing it to move out of the way. In that moment, I noticed a lady crouched down beside the front tire of the truck. I focused my eyes and saw that there was a mass of something directly behind the tire. The realization of what I was looking at hit me like a ton of bricks. There was a person, a lady, lying under the truck. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s like a bad train wreck – you just can’t peel your eyes away from it”? That’s exactly what was going on. I knew exactly what I was looking at but my body refused to believe it. It was horrific. It was painfully obvious that this lady’s life was gone. As soon as my eyes and brain began communicating with each other, I instructed the boys to close their eyes but I still couldn’t peel my eyes away. In that moment, I began praying for the driver of the truck as well as the family of whoever was killed.
In the weeks since that accident, I’ve struggled. I put off sleep as long as I can because I’ve had more nightmares than I care to say. I’ve poured over the tributes written on the obituary for the lady killed. I’ve worked hard to find out who she was in life because all I saw was her horrific death. But I keep coming back to one question. Why? Why did I see what I saw? Why couldn’t we have left the house 3 minutes earlier? How can this be used to glorify God? Yesterday, I got an answer.
I was reading online about an accident in the southern portion of the county in which I live. A 16 year old boy was killed after he ran into the back of a logging skidder. In the news article that I read, it listed a witness’ name and I knew the name. He’s a dock builder on one of the local lakes and I have dealt with him through work. Immediately, I knew I had to reach out to him. One thing that I have realized over the past few weeks is that there aren’t a lot of folks (thankfully) who can say they’ve witnessed something so horrific. Therefore it’s hard to find any kind of support and after a while, loved ones begin to tire of hearing the same things. Then you start to feel somewhat silly for reliving the moments over and over. Then you just feel trapped within yourself. I called and asked him if it was indeed him that had witnessed it and it was, indeed. He was emotional. He’s struggling. He didn’t sleep last night. He can’t eat. He’s short tempered. His mind is elsewhere. He hurts.
I told him, “I don’t know if you’re saved or if you even believe in God but I do. I’ve been struggling for almost 3 weeks with ‘why’. Maybe this is why. On Thursday, January 6th at 6:05 PM, God allowed me to witness what I witnessed because He knew on Monday, January 24th at 7:30 AM, someone I know was going to witness something equally tragic. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that I would place that phone call and reach out to you so that you wouldn’t feel alone, as I did.”
He went on to tell me that he knows a guy that went to church with this boy and his family and just this past Sunday, this 16 year old boy placed his faith in Jesus Christ. I sit here, assured of the fact that because of that, this child is in Heaven.
I pray for the family of the boy killed. I pray for the guy I know who witnessed this as I know exactly how he feels. I pray for the community (this is the 4th teenager in a year to die in a car accident in our county). But, I continue to stand amazed at the workings of my Father.
Never have those words spoken to me as much as they did today. Nay, they SCREAMED at me (but not in that oh-no-you’re-in-trouble-way). But today, God reminded me that He is in control and that if I just let Him, He’s going to work things out.
On Thursday, January 6th, my family and I were on the way to dinner. It was about 6:00 and we were traveling north on the highway (I add this directional reference because traffic heading north this time of day is typically light. Folks commuting home from working in the city travel south) and we were in the right lane. All of a sudden, traffic in the right lane came to screeching halt and the left lane of traffic slowed considerably. The SUV in front of me began moving into the left lane and I quickly realized that there was an 18-wheeler stopped in the right lane. Now, I don’t consider myself an aggressive driver but I do want to get where I’m going with few delays so seeing this truck stopped for seemingly no reason irritated me to no end. There were no other cars or flashing lights from a police car to indicate that an accident had occurred. Because I had no choice, I turned my left signal on and moved over one lane. Traffic was creeping. I was able to move up only about 50 feet before I came to a complete stop. There was a man standing in the road yelling, “GO, GO, GO!!!” Nobody was moving anywhere so I had no choice but to sit there. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I was directly beside the parked 18-wheeler and I glared at it, as if I were willing it to move out of the way. In that moment, I noticed a lady crouched down beside the front tire of the truck. I focused my eyes and saw that there was a mass of something directly behind the tire. The realization of what I was looking at hit me like a ton of bricks. There was a person, a lady, lying under the truck. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s like a bad train wreck – you just can’t peel your eyes away from it”? That’s exactly what was going on. I knew exactly what I was looking at but my body refused to believe it. It was horrific. It was painfully obvious that this lady’s life was gone. As soon as my eyes and brain began communicating with each other, I instructed the boys to close their eyes but I still couldn’t peel my eyes away. In that moment, I began praying for the driver of the truck as well as the family of whoever was killed.
In the weeks since that accident, I’ve struggled. I put off sleep as long as I can because I’ve had more nightmares than I care to say. I’ve poured over the tributes written on the obituary for the lady killed. I’ve worked hard to find out who she was in life because all I saw was her horrific death. But I keep coming back to one question. Why? Why did I see what I saw? Why couldn’t we have left the house 3 minutes earlier? How can this be used to glorify God? Yesterday, I got an answer.
I was reading online about an accident in the southern portion of the county in which I live. A 16 year old boy was killed after he ran into the back of a logging skidder. In the news article that I read, it listed a witness’ name and I knew the name. He’s a dock builder on one of the local lakes and I have dealt with him through work. Immediately, I knew I had to reach out to him. One thing that I have realized over the past few weeks is that there aren’t a lot of folks (thankfully) who can say they’ve witnessed something so horrific. Therefore it’s hard to find any kind of support and after a while, loved ones begin to tire of hearing the same things. Then you start to feel somewhat silly for reliving the moments over and over. Then you just feel trapped within yourself. I called and asked him if it was indeed him that had witnessed it and it was, indeed. He was emotional. He’s struggling. He didn’t sleep last night. He can’t eat. He’s short tempered. His mind is elsewhere. He hurts.
I told him, “I don’t know if you’re saved or if you even believe in God but I do. I’ve been struggling for almost 3 weeks with ‘why’. Maybe this is why. On Thursday, January 6th at 6:05 PM, God allowed me to witness what I witnessed because He knew on Monday, January 24th at 7:30 AM, someone I know was going to witness something equally tragic. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that I would place that phone call and reach out to you so that you wouldn’t feel alone, as I did.”
He went on to tell me that he knows a guy that went to church with this boy and his family and just this past Sunday, this 16 year old boy placed his faith in Jesus Christ. I sit here, assured of the fact that because of that, this child is in Heaven.
I pray for the family of the boy killed. I pray for the guy I know who witnessed this as I know exactly how he feels. I pray for the community (this is the 4th teenager in a year to die in a car accident in our county). But, I continue to stand amazed at the workings of my Father.
1 comment:
You are an amazing woman, Cayce. That is why our Father continues to use you and your faith to bring glory and honor in His name. I remember you laying hands on my unborn son, praying that his unfixed heart would beat after he was born. I remember the tears falling from my face landing on your arm. As a believer I was cautious, knowing that He knew best but I wanted my son to live. And, One day my son would come to know Him. I remember you showing up at my doorstep to celebrate the angelversary of my twin angels in Heaven, no one else bothered to call or be there. YOU, my sister are a walking testimony of selfless acts of kindness and prayer. It does not surprise me in the least that you are chosen and you will continue to be. He and I both know you are worthy of bringing people to know Him. Because of your unconditional love toward me, I never lost sight of the love of Christ. You never abandoned me, for that I am eternally grateful.
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