Empty

Do you ever feel utterly empty emotionally? I do ... right now.

My grandmother dying has been quite a heartbreaking and bittersweet time for me. We were lucky enough to find out about 2 weeks before she actually died that her time with us was quickly coming to an end. I altered my work schedule so that I could spend as much time with Granny as possible. Hubby really stepped up and took care of everything in my absence.

In my time with Granny, I read to her (daily) out of her devotional book. Sometimes, I read to her multiple times -- basically, whatever she requested. I read to her out of the book of Psalms (it was her favorite). I prayed with her and perhaps my favorite, we sang old hymns together.

Now that she's gone, I feel empty. Just yesterday, I went for the phone a couple of times to call and see what she was doing. I've never gone this long without talking to her. It hurts. Sometimes (like now) I feel like I'm suffocating under the weight of grief.

Losing Granny is a tremendous loss for me. I've experienced family members dying before but none whom I was as close as I was to Granny. I know time will help but right now, it's so raw.